10 signs a relationship will or won’t work, according to a study on 11,000 couples

Queer elderly couple
Queer elderly couple

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Dating technology has come a long way, from online matchmaking services to dating apps that give hundreds of dates to choose from. But those pale in comparison to a study that used artificial intelligence to identify the top 10 signs a relationship will work out or not. 

The study, published July 29 in the journal PNAS, used AI to survey the results of 43 relationship studies from all over the world, which included interviews with over 11,000 couples, and whether they stayed together.

In doing so, the computer found 10 primary indicators that a relationship would last — five variables based on the individuals in the partnership, and five variables based on how they relate. 

While the individual factors were influential, the most important factors were the ways they interacted with and treated one another. 

“The dynamic that you build with someone — the shared norms, the in-jokes, the shared experiences — is so much more than the separate individuals who make up that relationship,” Samantha Joel, the study’s first author and the director of the Relationships Decision Lab at Western University, told Inverse. 

Here are the 10 factors and what they mean. 

How satisfied are you with your life?

girl looking in mirror
girl looking in mirror


Individuals who felt unfulfilled with their lives in general were less likely to continue in their relationship.

Feeling constantly stressed or hopeless

Consistent negative feelings, like stress, were another individual factor that predicted the success of a relationship.

For people who generally held a lot of negative feelings, the computer found, it could impact the longevity of their relationship.


People dealing with untreated depression faced unique challenges in their relationships. 

Being constantly anxious in a relationship

Attachment anxiety typically stems from negative relationships observed as a child, like with parents or other family members. It can lead to the feeling of constantly walking on eggshells in a relationship or constantly feeling like a partner is going to leave. 

If you or your partner have an insecure attachment style, this might compromise your ability to establish boundaries in your relationship longterm and cause it to fade quickly. 

Avoiding commitment 

Avoidant attachment styles tend to stay clear of relationships, whether it be for a lack of trust in other people to show up for you or a fear of being hurt. 

If you or your partner are avoidant, this could make it difficult to fully commit to a relationship and jeopardize how long it will last. 

How committed do you think your partner is?

Queer Couple
Queer Couple

Kevin Kozicki/Getty Images

The study authors found your perception of your relationship largely contributes to how long it will last, including how committed you think your partner is to you. 

If you think your partner is in it for the long haul, chances are the relationship will last longer. 

Do you appreciate your partner? 

If you wake in the morning thinking you’re absolutely lucky to be with your partner, this is a good indicator you two are going to last. 

How satisfied are you with your partner sexually?

A good sex life is key to a long-lasting relationship. 

How happy do you think your partner is?

If you think your partner is happy in your relationship, this could positively impact your overall dynamic. 

How often do your fight with your partner?

You and your partner constantly fighting is a telltale sign things are going downhill quickly. Likely, you two won’t last. 

Read More:

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3 signs it’s time to break up with your friend — and how to have the difficult conversation

6 tips for having sex when it’s hot out, including ice cubes, showers, and cotton sheets

Read the original article on Insider

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